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[personal profile] marycatelli

Revision was stymied, but finally, I figured out the issue:  I need to throw in a scene.  To make it very clear that two scenes didn't happen, bumpity-bump, in short order.

Which means it has to not just separate them but serve some purpose.  Hmmm -- moving the queen and her consort about -- deal with soldiers -- oh, yeah --

Underscoring the problem that the second scene will fix.  It's alluded to in the first scene, but it does fit in with the dealing with soldiers part.

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marycatelli

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