sentence structure and stage
Jan. 20th, 2022 10:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
marycatelliOne thing you should do when structuring a sentence: putting any stage setting first.
Do not write, "She was out of breath at the bridge."
Write "At the bridge, she was out of breath."
It helps to orient the reader, see the stage before the action as you would. Also, the location (including the time) is not the dramatic part except in the rarest of cases -- when it has to surprise the characters as well as the reader. Build to the drama.
Does make it interesting when you say, "She was out of breath before the bridge" since you want to get things in order. Perhaps a rephrasing is wise: "On the last road before the bridge, she was out of breath."
Do not write, "She was out of breath at the bridge."
Write "At the bridge, she was out of breath."
It helps to orient the reader, see the stage before the action as you would. Also, the location (including the time) is not the dramatic part except in the rarest of cases -- when it has to surprise the characters as well as the reader. Build to the drama.
Does make it interesting when you say, "She was out of breath before the bridge" since you want to get things in order. Perhaps a rephrasing is wise: "On the last road before the bridge, she was out of breath."