Mary Catelli's Erraticly Updated and Exceedingly Ill-Organized Journal

One thing that helps with the unity of a setting is a certain unity of monsters.

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Gotta work on my style.

Because I've got a scene where a child is running, and slaughter's occurring around him. This lends itself to short punchy sentences, and no time to think, and certainly no time to think straight. Still more when the child could barely, given enough time and peace and quiet, realize half the significance of what he sees.

My style works just fine for the scene after, when he's playing dead and hoping the villains don't realize he's still alive. Entirely too much time to think then.

But the scene before still needs work.

One thing you should do when structuring a sentence:  putting any stage setting first.

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One complication of using a child as the point of view character is keeping not just the observations within the child's power to make, but the voice.

It's not so tight a point-of-view that I have to be absolutely strict, but  it's not so loose that I can festoon their thoughts with erudite polysyllables.

Though, on reflection, the oldest of the children I am working on now is chiefly a problem because she's kinda silly.