style and scene
Oct. 31st, 2022 09:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
marycatelliGotta work on my style.
Because I've got a scene where a child is running, and slaughter's occurring around him. This lends itself to short punchy sentences, and no time to think, and certainly no time to think straight. Still more when the child could barely, given enough time and peace and quiet, realize half the significance of what he sees.
My style works just fine for the scene after, when he's playing dead and hoping the villains don't realize he's still alive. Entirely too much time to think then.
But the scene before still needs work.
Because I've got a scene where a child is running, and slaughter's occurring around him. This lends itself to short punchy sentences, and no time to think, and certainly no time to think straight. Still more when the child could barely, given enough time and peace and quiet, realize half the significance of what he sees.
My style works just fine for the scene after, when he's playing dead and hoping the villains don't realize he's still alive. Entirely too much time to think then.
But the scene before still needs work.