Date: 2012-03-01 01:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] izuko.livejournal.com
The end result was nearly as bad as the start - just in different ways. I think the sentence hit its peak around part six or so.

Date: 2012-03-01 03:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nagasvoice.livejournal.com
Me are barbarian named Grunt (obviously encumbered and overgrown with thews of steel) and defiantly not liking so much using of gerunding. But definitely a nice explanation of what to start looking for!

Date: 2012-03-01 04:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nagasvoice.livejournal.com
...verbing verbing verbing, keep those trucks no dogies erm paragraphs verbing rolling

Date: 2012-03-01 05:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alivion.livejournal.com
Verbing weirds language.

Date: 2012-03-01 05:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alivion.livejournal.com
I find his end result far better than the original, if only because I can figure out what is going on.

For myself, I simply wouldn't write anything which involves barbarians (massive or otherwise) rippling in any way.
Edited Date: 2012-03-01 05:40 am (UTC)

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